Team Phoenix: What responsibility do we have to one another?

In “Strangers,” Morrison writes that he “denied [the woman] her personhood, the specific individuality we insist upon for ourselves.” I think the main responsibility we have to each other is to appreciate that we’re all different from each other. Our similarities to each other (hobbies, similar upbringings, etc.) might be what bring us together initially, but it’s our differences that actually make us closer. I think Morrison might’ve been suggesting that it’s a bad thing that we see ourselves in other people. I don’t necessarily agree with that. I don’t think a lot of us can really see where a person is coming from until we walk a mile in their shoes, at least not at first, but I think once we’re able to understand who they are (and why they are) without having to put ourselves in their place, we’ve achieved a much stronger bond that’s more intimate and meaningful. I think a lot of the times that we start to feel tension in our relationships – because of faults in each others' personalities, clashing opinions, etc. --we tend to shut each other out. MLK mentions in his letter that he “is not afraid of the word ‘tension.’…there is a type of constructive, nonviolent tension which is necessary for growth.” I think our main responsibility to each other is to face the tensions we feel with each other head-on; Make an effort to grow from the tension instead of dismiss it and run in the opposite direction. Once we’ve managed to achieve that, I think we become much closer to coming to terms with the fact that we’re all different from one another – and that our differences are not something to be afraid of. I know that my strongest relationships are the ones that have had some ups and downs. I’ve learned something from those people and that’s what brought us closer together. If I didn’t allow myself to face the tension, those strong relationships and meaningful friendships would’ve been reduced to “kind of okay, not that deep, not irreplaceable” acquaintances. Closing ourselves off from truly understanding the experiences of others prevents us from bettering ourselves (and vice-versa.)

Can we ever really know another person?

    I think it is impossible to really know a person. We might think we do if that person is really close to us; a sister, a best friend, a boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife, etc. You might share big secrets and confide in this one special person things you would never tell anyone. Even in that case that person will never fully know you. For starters it is really hard to even know and understand ourselves, let alone fully understand someone else. Each person has to have their own inside world, their own personal feelings and thoughts that they would never reveal to anyone. I really think that if we were an open book, even if it was to only one person, we would loose our identity. We tend to make our own personal image of a person, like Morrison told in his story. An image that is convenient to us and that will serve a purpose in our lives. That is why we get disappointed when we realize that a person is not what we thought. Although that person never lied to us. We lied to ourselves, wanting that one person to be as we wanted them to be.  I agree with Morrison when he said “an image can determine not only what we know and feel but also what we believe is worth knowing about what we feel”.  It is very true that we rely on images all the time. We even think we might know a person just by looking at them. The truth is that no image, no body language or even experiences could make us really know a person at all.

1. Can we ever really know a person?

I believe that we can never really know who another person is fully. There are things and events in a person’s life that they normally wouldn’t share with everyone. Everyone has an internal mind, which consists of our personal thoughts. These thoughts are apart of us, which makes us separate from others. Also, when people go through traumatic experiences the cause of them could leave a person changing in a matter of ways. One’s personality can completely change because of the feeling they received that may have altered the way they view the world or even how they view themselves. A lot of the time when big impact events occur, the thoughts of that person can cause them to hide there true feelings. There are so many cases when a person will commit suicide and there close family and friends will say that they never saw it coming. We hide so much in our minds, that a person who may seem happy on the outside may be struggling and fighting on the inside.In Morrison’s essay, she creates an image on how she wishes her new neighbor could be. Over time she develops a mental picture and becomes very disappointed when she discovers that her neighbor is not who she imagine them to be. This occurs a lot for me personally, I have met people before and without even really knowing them I have created a person who I think they are in my mind. In time I learn who they are and most of the time I am disappointed that they are not what I wanted them to be. Also, many people have multiple personalities that can be deceiving when trying to get to know a person.

"First Person Plura"/ “Beauty: When the Other Dancer is the Self”

I imagine Alice Walker and Paul Bloom, if they were to sit down and have dinner with one another, would find something to share in common in regards to one's Self. Paul Bloom acknowledges the existence of a multitude of personalities within each person. While Alice Walker in her essay highlights the fragility of our temperament. Alice remembers vividly being the confident, dauntless child she was. She flourished in social situations, giving formal speeches without hesitation and promptly declaring herself "the prettiest" to her father in an assertion that was reason enough to choose her over her siblings (and he did). Then preceding retelling of an accident that left her eye blinded and visibly scarred she points out the twist of fate abruptly stating, "It was great fun being cute. But then, one day, it ended." This is followed by a dramatic withdraw socially and academically for her. She recollects this time negatively. At age 14 she has the mass left in her eye removed and minimizes the appearance of the damage. Although, as drastically as her personality seemed to 180 at the occurrence of the injury, she claims that, "Almost immediately I become a different person from the girl who does not raise her head." Paul Bloom would consider this an illustration of his point, "The idea is that instead, within each brain, different selves are continually popping in and out of existence." Paul Bloom believes our personalities can be conditional and dominate depending on circumstance. Alice Walker’s essay gives a seamless account of how delicate our dispositions may be and how rapidly they can polarize.

First Personal Plural

If I had the opportunity to have dinner with the four authors, I would definitely be on Paul Blooms side. I really liked his article and I agree with most of his ideas about the self-sense.  After reading “First Person Plural”, I realize that I found the answer to the pursuit of happiness. I believe, like the author said, that each of us has multiple selves, with different desires, and they are constantly fighting for control. One self is competing with the other, making ones happiness the misery of the other. The way we make decisions depends on which of the selves “win”.  In the article it is stated that one self doesn’t have access to the other selves.  But I believe they do, and that is how we can make the decision we think it is the best considering all the self-senses memories. The idea of having a short-term self and a long-term self helps explain why sometimes we decide one thing over the other. The long-term self tends to be more cautious and more experienced than the short-term self.  Although the long-term self is not always right, it tends to be.  Having multiple selves doesn’t mean you have multiple-personality disorder. It just means that there are different “you’s” trying to decide what is best for you in that very same moment.  Which of the selves wins depends on the time, moment, place and state of mind we are in at that very specific occasion. On the other hand, as the philosopher Jerry Fodor said, “If, in short, there is a community of computers living in my head, there had also better be somebody who is in charge; and, by God, it had better be me”. This means to me that even though there are several selves, I am in charge of each one them and I decide which one I listen to and which one I don’t. My favorite part of the article was when Paul Bloom wrote, “The community of selves shouldn’t be a democracy, but it shouldn’t be a dictatorship, either”.  Listen to all your selves, because in the end, they all are part of you, but don’t forget you decide which one to listen to. In the same context, Alice Walker explained on her essay, “Beauty: When the other Dancer is the self”, how she became aware of her self sense when her daughter asked her where she got that world in her eye.  All her world was in her eye, and she loved it. After all that time, she finally could be happy with herself and faced the old self. This is explained when she said, “We dance and kiss each other and hold each other through the night. The other dancer has obviously come through all right, as I have done. She is beautiful, whole and free. And she is also me”.

Beauty: When the Other Dancer Is the Self

I feel as though all the authors from our short readings would agree on the fact that we have multiple inner beings of ourselves. With each story we were able to identify the changes of the author throughout the story. When I listened to Jill Bolte Taylor, she portrays a sense of nirvana and reaching a peaceful state internally. Here we are able to see the right side and left side brain of Jill Bolte Taylor. With the short story, “Beauty: When the Other Dancer Is the Self”, we are able to see the quick change in self-confidence the author has. Alice Walker, starts out as a confident beautiful girl until her accident, she then becomes increasingly aware that she no longer lifts her head or feels herself anymore. While growing up she is made fun of and her self-esteem lowers throughout the year. She begins to question her self-image and how people see her, she frequently asks her family if they think she has changed to. Her family sees her no different though, but her view of herself is no longer then beautiful girl she once felt. When the author questions her changing self it tied in with the reading “First Person Plural”, the author, Paul Bloom, says that “many researchers now believe, to varying degrees, that each of us is a community of competing selves with the happiness of one often causing the misery of another”. The way I perceived this, was that sometimes the misery we have in our lives are usually caused by our inner being thoughts we create for ourselves. It shows how the way we see ourselves can be much different from the way others around us may see us. At the end of the story “Beauty: When the Other Dance Is the Self”, Alice Walker, has a daughter and her view of herself quickly begins to change again. She worries that her daughter will look at her and question what is wrong with her eye. This continually pops into the authors mind until one day while she is standing over her baby’s crib her daughter looks up and says, “Mommy, there’s a world in your eye”, hearing those words gives the author a sense of comfort. She is relieved that her eye is seen as beauty to her child, when she saw her eye as a worthless part of her. Her perception on herself begins to change once again.

 

Beauty: When the Other Dancer is the Self 

Samantha Wiktor Team Sphinx

I found this story extremely frustrating.  I think it was hard for me to read this tale and picture the way Alice saw herself after the “accident.”  She says she doesn’t raise her head for six years and will no longer stare at anyone.  I don’t see how someone could waste six plus years of their life feeling sorry for themselves.  yes, it was an accident.  It did not happen on purpose.  Why would you feel sorry for yourself, when you have the choice to live.  At least she still had one good, perfectly healthy eye to use.  She could never see herself in the same way she did before the accident.  She was no longer pretty or worthy.  She had lost all self confidence as a result of one incident.  Then, at the end of the story she undergoes a procedure to remove the scar tissue in her eye.  Then and only then is she finally happy and living life to the fullest again.  Once the scar is taken away, then she has her dream boyfriend and becomes valedictorian, is the most popular student, and “queen.”  Why did she allow herself to be held back so much?  It seemed as if the moral of her personal story was that she was not good enough or deserving of any of the wonderful things life has to offer until she had her scar taken away.  And what kind of way is that to live?  We can be “beautiful, whole, and free..” even with something we see as a blemish.  Not everything has to be perfect in order to enjoy our life.