The way we
portray ourselves to the world is all controlled by our beings. We have
modified the way we talk, the way we act, even the way we dress. Jill Bolte
Taylor said, “ we have the power to choose moment by moment, who and how we
want to be in the world” We have full control, but our world has modified us,
but in for some instances, a positive way. We all have a tendency to have multiple
versions of ourselves. Although we are not changing as a person or in our
personality, we still alter the way we talk. For example, I have realized that
with certain people like, my bosses, I will speak in a more proper way. My personality
has not changed, but it is out of politeness to speak to authority in a respectful
manner. Also, with friends, most people tend to have a more laid back
personality. I have realized many times that I do feel like I have multiple personalities
because of all the different types of people I have talked to. With some people,
there are sometimes certain things that you have to alter when you are speaking
to them. It is just a sense of comfort for myself.
I do think that our
internal state of mind changes as we get older, our thoughts are completely
different from the way we use to think, when we were just toddlers. There’s
scientific facts about how the mind of a child compared to an adolescent or
adult is like two minds from a completely different planet. Children don’t perceive
things the way we do. Their logic is not correct and they are very unaware of
the theory of mind. Children don’t know that not everyone is thinking the same
thing as they are, and they can’t perceive things from another person’s point
of view. As we get older we do learn these things and are able to have a more
complex state of mind. I don’t know where our internal state of mind came from,
and I don’t think anyone really knows. We were born with it and are not able to
understand the feeling of not having one, so there’s no exact reason to why we
have one, but I do think our internal state of mind allows us to have our own
full personality. I am the only person in this entire world who knows me better
than anyone. Our mind allows us to have our own thoughts and worries, which can
give one a sense of individuality and it’s a more private relationship that I cherish.
If I were to not have my own internal mind and have none of my own thoughts, there
would never be a sense of yourself and aloneness.
As Joan Didion said, “we are talking about something private,
about bits of the minds string too short to use, an indiscriminate and erratic
assemblage with meaning only for its making. And sometimes even the maker has
difficulty with the meaning”. The way she describes our minds is as being
private and something only ourselves can experience, we will never be able to
fully describe to someone the way we are feeling or the thoughts we produce.
And sometimes we are not even able to decipher our own thoughts. For our minds
are so complex the explanation to things are unseen. Leaving ourselves with confusion
about why we are who we are, and the realization to what makes each other
different. I believe that we can reach a sense of separateness from the world, a
lot of the time this destination can be reached by meditation or just the
simple process of “zoning out”. But you can also think of this in a sense of
individuality and being separate from others in the world.
Throughout our lives we become different variations of ourselves. Joan Dildion says, “I think we are well advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be whether we find them attractive company or not.” Everything we go through as human being helps contribute to the person we are in presence. So I agree with Joan in that we must be humble with the character we once were because it has molded us into who we’ve become. I think that there are multiple versions of us over time because of the old saying, “With age comes wisdom.” I believe wisdom can greatly affect your persona and your outlook on life which can essentially change you and how you carry yourself.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I believe that we can be separate from the world and then there are moments that happen that strengthen our relationship with the world. There are times especially when we are alone that we find ourselves being ‘different’ however when we get around others we are expected to blend and follow. What stood out to me is when Joan said, “The rest of the us are expected, rightly, to affect absorption in other people’s favorite dresses, other people’s trout.” In this quote Joan Dildion was referring to an experience she had but it made a lot of since to me on a bigger issue. We are so tuned in to the world around us that a lot of people do not even know who they are. They blend to fit society’s image of what you should be. I suppose I would lean more toward our sense of self being tied into our relationship with the world around us.
Our internal sense of self, as Jill Bolte Taylor explains, comes from the left hemisphere of our brain. It is the place where we, “become a single solid individual, separate from the energy flow…separate from you”. This is what separates us from the world and makes us individual, however it works in conjunction with the right hemisphere of the brain that connects us to the world around us. This sense of self could never merely be individual because the world also ties us to who we are, through our experiences and environments. For this reason, Joan Didion’s concept of self over time is valid. She discusses times in her life that she was a certain way and can, “no longer perceive myself among those present, no longer could even improvise the dialogue”. Even when she kept a journal and the phrases could reincarnate the memory of not only the experience, but also who she was at the time: how she felt, acted, spoke, etc. 23 year old Didion was, “shy to the point of aggravation, always the injured party, full of recriminations and little hurts and stories”. Older Didion, having accumulated more knowledge of herself and the world could surely not be the same Didion at age 23 who was once so vulnerable and ignorant. Our sense of self changes over time as the world acts upon us and we act upon the world. One may think individually, but their energy connects to the energy of those and that around them.
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